REVACH L'DAF
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SUMMARY
Rebbi Eliezer holds that the mourners turn over the beds as soon as the deceased is taken out of the house, while Rebbi Yehoshua holds when the grave is sealed.
On Erev Shabbos, starting from Minchah is the time to start turning the beds upright. (1)
A mourner must turn over every bed in the house with the exception of beds that are used for utensils.
The house of a mourner should be swept and sprinkled with water. (2)
Formerly there were discrepancies between the manner that the poor were treated upon a death in the family and the manner that the wealthy were treated. (3)
Prior to Rebbi Gamliel, the expenses of the funeral were harder on the relatives than the death itself, to the extent that the relatives would abandon the deceased and take flight. (4)
It is prohibited to eulogize on Chol ha'Mo'ed with the exception of a Torah scholar in the presence of the deceased. (5)
As soon as the mourner nods his head the comforters are no longer allowed to remain sitting.
On the first day a mourner may not eat his own food.
If there is a deceased in the city the entire town is prohibited from doing work. (6)
A person should not mourn a deceased any more than our sages proscribe.
A BIT MORE
1. However it is forbidden to sit on the upright beds until nightfall. On Motza'ei Shabbos the beds are turned over again even if Sunday the last day of the mourning period.
2. The utensils in the house of a mourner such as cups plates and pitchers should be rinsed, and nice smelling incense should not be brought into the house of a mourner.
3. The sages decreed that the poor and wealthy shall be treated in the exact same manner.
4. Raban Gamliel ended the phenomenon of buying expensive shrouds for a deceased by means of using linen shrouds for himself upon his death. The people followed his example to use linen shrouds for a deceased.
5. If it is the day that the people found out about the death of the Torah scholar, it would be permitted to eulogize him on Chol ha'Mo'ed even though the deceased is not present.
6. If there is a group in the city dedicated to providing the needs of a deceased the townspeople would be permitted to do work.
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BRIEF INSIGHT
The Gemara says that as soon as the mourner nods his head the comforters are no longer allowed to remain sitting. The Ran explains that since a mourner is forbidden to wish Shalom he nods his head instead in the method that a student nods his head in greeting to the Rav and that is his method if dismissing the comforters. Alternatively since a mourner usually hangs his head in sadness, as soon as he lifts up his head it is an indication that the mourner has been sufficiently comforted and it is no longer necessary for the mourners to stay.
QUICK HALACHAH
A mourner may not eat his first meal from his own food, but the second meal is permitted even on the first day. It is a Mitzvah for the relatives to feed the mourner his first meal so that he will not be forced to eat his own food. If a person provides a mourner with his first meal, the favor may be returned when the tables are reversed, as long as they did not make that condition in the first place. (Shulchan Aruch YD 378:1)
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