(a)What sleeping arrangements do they make for a Chasan and Kalah who married (and who already consummated their marriage) after his father or her mother died?
1)
(a)A Chasan and Kalah who married (and who consummated their marriage) after his father or her mother died - must not only sleep separately, but they require watching; he sleeps with the men and she sleeps with the women.
2)
(a)On what grounds is a Kalah whose mother died, permitted to wear ornaments during the Sheloshim?
(b)We learned in the Beraisa that if the animals were already Shechted ... and the Chasan's father or the Kalah's mother died, they are permitted to marry even on Monday. What other qualification does Rafram bar Papa Amar Rav Chisda add to this?
(c)Rav Ashi confines Rav Chisda's ruling to an average size town like Masa Mechsaya. Following that, what does ...
1. ... Rava say about a large town?
2. ... Rav Papa say about a small village?
(d)How do we know that Rav Chisda's ruling is Halachah?
2)
(a)A Kalah whose mother died, is permitted to wear ornaments during the Sheloshim - so that she should not be despised by her husband.
(b)We learned in the Beraisa that if the animals were already Shechted ... and the Chasan's father or the Kalah's mother died, they are permitted to marry even on Monday. Rafram bar Papa Amar Rav Chisda adds - that this only speaks when they have also added water to the meat, rendering it unfit to be re-sold.
(c)Rav Ashi confines Rav Chisda's ruling to an average size town like Masa Mechsaya. Following that ...
1. ... Rava rules that in a large town - even if water was already added, they will be forbidden to marry, because even at that stage, they will always be able to find purchasers.
2. ... Rav Papa rules that in a small village - even if water has not yet been added, they are permitted to marry, because even then, it is difficult to find purchasers.
(d)We know that Rav Chisda's ruling is Halachah - because it is borne out by a Beraisa.
3)
(a)Which other set of circumstances does the Beraisa cite in which the Chasan and the Kalah must sleep seperately?
(b)We have already learned that the discreet Dinim of Aveilus (Aveilus shel Tzin'ah) apply even during the days of rejoicing. How do we gauge Devarim shel Tzin'ah?
(c)What does the Tana say about being intimate for the first time ...
1. ... on Friday night?
2. ... on Motzei Shabbos?
(d)We cite the Beraisa's ruling prohibiting intimacy even during the days of Sheva Berachos as a support for Rebbi Yochanan. What does Rebbi Yochanan say in this regard in connection with Aveilus on Chol ha'Mo'ed?
3)
(a)The Beraisa also requires the Chasan and the Kalah to separate - there where the Kalah becomes a Nidah before having consummated the marriage.
(b)We have already learned that the discreet Dinim of Aveilus (Aveilus shel Tzin'ah) apply even during the days of rejoicing. We gauge Dvarim shel Tzin'ah - by whether people can tell by what one is or what one is not, doing, that he is an Avel.
(c)The Tana forbids being intimate for the first time ...
1. ... on Friday night or ...
2. ... on Motzei Shabbos.
(d)We cite the Beraisa's ruling prohibiting intimacy even during the days of Sheva Berachos as a support for Rebbi Yochanan - who rules that even though Chol ha'Mo'ed overrides Aveilus, intimacy is forbidden.
4)
(a)How does Rav Yosef brei d'Rava quoting his father, qualify the Din of separating the Chasan and the Kalah?
(b)How do we reconcile this with the Beraisa, which distinctly rules to separate them even though they have already consummated the marriage?
(c)What is the reason for this distinction? Why should there be a difference in this regard, between Nidah and Avel?
(d)Then how do we explain 'v'Chen Mi she'Pirsah Ishto Nidah, Hu Yashen ... '?
4)
(a)Rav Yosef b'rei d'Rava quoting his father, qualifies the Din of separating the Chasan and the Kalah - by restricting it to where they have not yet consummated the marriage.
(b)We reconcile this with the Beraisa, which distinctly rules to separate them even though they have already consummated the marriage - by confining it to Aveilus, whereas Rava is speaking about Nidus.
(c)The reason for this distinction is - because, whereas Aveilus is not so stringent in people's eyes, and the Tana saw fit to take a strict line with them, Nidah, which carries with it a Chiyuv Kares, people take seriously, and Rava is therefore able to issue a lenient ruling.
(d)We therefore need to amend 'v'Chen Mi she'Pirsah Ishto Nidah, Hu Yashen ... ' - to read 'v'Chen Mi she'Pirsah Ishto Nidah, v'Lo Ba'al, Hu Yashein ... '.
4b----------------------------------------4b
5)
(a)We query the current distinction based on a statement by Rav Yitzchak bar Chanina Amar Rav Huna. Which three tasks does he forbid a Nidah to perform for her husband? Why is that?
(b)What does the Tana of the Beraisa say with regard to a woman in Aveilus performing these things?
(c)What is now the problem?
(d)How do we resolve it? When is Nidah more stringent and when is Aveilus?
(e)How do we know that the Tana of the latter Beraisa is speaking about when it is the woman who is in Aveilus, and not her husband?
5)
(a)Rav Yitzchak bar Chanina Amar Rav Huna forbids a Nidah to dilute her husband's cup of wine, make his bed and wash his face, hands and feet of (these will be discussed later in the fifth Perek) - because they are all acts of endearment, and can easily lead to intimacy.
(b)The Tana of the Beraisa says - that a woman in Aveilus is permitted to perform these things.
(c)The problem is - that we just explained how we are more stringent with regard to the Dinim of Aveilus, and here we see the reverse!
(d)And we resolve the problem - by establishing the earlier Beraisa where the man is an Avel, where, as we explained, we need to be more lenient with regard to Nidah than to mourning, because people tend to take it more seriously than Aveilus); whereas the current Beraisa speaks where it is the woman who is an Avel, where we are less stringent by Aveilus - because she will not let him contravene her Aveilus.
(e)We know that the Tana of the latter Beraisa is speaking about when it is the woman who is in Aveilus, and not her husband - because the Tana speaks about her not wanting to put on make-up.
6)
(a)Is there any difference with regard to putting on make-up, it is the man who is an Avel or the woman?
6)
(a)With regard to putting on make-up, there is no difference whether it is the man who is an Avel or the woman. Either way, she is forbidden to do so.
7)
(a)We query the previous distinction (between his Aveilus and hers) from another Beraisa however, where the Tana obligates the man to practice mourning together with his wife, and his wife together with him. What is missing from the Beraisa, that leads us to believe that that distinction is incorrect?
(b)After amending the Beraisa, and adding to when he is an Avel 'Hu Yashen bein ha'Anashim ... ', how do we explain 'v'Chen' Hi she'Mes Chamihah ... '?
(c)If this is so, and we are really afraid that they will treat his Aveilus lightly, how do we explain 've'Noheges Imo Aveilus' (if it does not imply even in the same bed)?
7)
(a)We query the previous distinction (between his Aveilus and hers) from another Beraisa however, where the Tana obligates the man to practice mourning together with his wife, and his wife together with him. The Tana says nothing about their having to sleep separately - which leads us to believe that the previous distinction that we made (between his Aveilus and hers) is incorrect.
(b)After amending the Seifa of the Beraisa (when he is an Avel) to read 'Hu Yashen bein ha'Anashim ... ', we explain that 'v'Chen' Hi she'Mes Chamihah ... ' - refers to putting on make-up, but not to sleeping separately (which is not necessary when her mother or father dies).
(c)We really are afraid that they will treat his Aveilus lightly. Consequently, when the Tana says 've'Noheges Imo Aveilus' - he means, not in the same bed (which is forbidden) but in the same room (in his presence).
8)
(a)What we just said concurs with Rav's statement to Rav Chiya his son. What did Rav instruct the latter to do, when his father-in-law died?
(b)Is there any difference between a husband's behavior when his wife is an Avel, and the behavior of a wife when her husband is an Avel, in this regard?
8)
(a)What we just said concurs with Rav's statement to Rav Chiya his son. When the latter's father-in-law died - Rav instructed him to practice Aveilus whenever he was in his wife's presence (in deference to his wife), but not when he was not.
(b)Clearly - there is no difference between a husband's behavior when his wife is an Avel, and the behavior of a wife when her husband is an Avel, in this regard.
9)
(a)What distinction does Rav Ashi draw between our original Beraisa, where Chazal were stringent with the Chasan and Kalah (to sleep in separate rooms), and the previous Beraisa, where they did not necessitate it (before we added it)?
(b)We cite a Beraisa where, in the opinion of Rebbi Eliezer, the period of Shiv'ah begins as soon as the Mes leaves the house. What does Rebbi Yehoshua say?
(c)What do we prove, by citing this Machlokes?
(d)So which leniency is Rav Ashi referring to?
9)
(a)According to Rav Ashi - the reason that in our original Beraisa, Chazal were stringent with the Chasan and Kalah (to sleep in separate rooms) is - because they initiated a leniency there, and we are afraid that the Chasan and Kalah will exploit it; whereas in the previous Beraisa, where they did not, there was nothing to be afraid of.
(b)We cite a Beraisa where, in the opinion of Rebbi Eliezer, the period of Shiv'ah begins as soon as the Mes leaves the house. Rebbi Yehoshua says - that it begins from the moment they cover the coffin (after placing it in the grave (see Tosfos DH 'ad').
(c)By citing this Machlokes - we prove that Rav Ashi could not have been referring to the leniency of permitting Bi'ah when the Chasan and Kalah were Avelim, seeing as, according to both Tana'im, the Aveilus period had not yet begun.
(d)So the leniency to which he must have been referring was that of - celebrating the Sheva Berachos before beginning the Aveilus.
