What did Yehudah mean when he declared, "Tzadekah Mimeni"?
Rashi #1 and Targum Onkelos: He acknowledged her statement (Tzadekah); 1 then added that she was pregnant from him (Mimeni). 2
Rashi #2 (citing Sotah 10b): It was not Yehudah who stated "Mimeni," but rather Hashem, 3 Who declared that Yehudah was not responsible for what happened. Rather, He, Hashem, arranged that Yehudah be intimate with Tamar. 4
Targum Yonasan: Both Yehudah and Hashem declared "Mimeni," as if it was written twice.
Ramban, Rashbam and Seforno: Yehudah acknowledged that Tamar was more righteous than he, inasmuch as, although Tamar tricked him into having relations with her, and he behaved correctly in sending her the kid-goat as promised, her action was more righteous than his, since she acted l'Shem Shamayim, 5 whereas he acted purely for selfish reasons (to retrieve his security - Seforno). 6
Makos 23b: He meant that she was innocent and that he had erred in his judgment - since she had not committed Zenus with another man. 7
Ohr ha'Chayim #1: Yehudah said, her words are truer than mine, and she is more righteous than I. Shem's Beis Din decreed against Zenus with a Nochri. I admit that I had Bi'ah with her; she did not transgress the decree (she knew that she has Bi'ah with me); whereas I did not know who she was. The Chazakah was that she is a Nochris, and I transgressed the decree.
Ohr ha'Chayim #2: She did not act improperly. It was due to me, (I caused her to despair from marrying Shelah).
Malbim: I did not give her to Shelah, because I decided to do Yibum myself. I was negligent for delaying; her trickery was justified.
Ha'amek Davar: She intended for the Mitzvah of establishing seed for his brother; I did not intend for the Mitzvah.
Sotah 10b: Yosef, who sanctified Hashem's Name in secret, when he refused the seduction of Potifar's wife, had one letter of Hashem's Name (Havayah) added to his name ("bi'Yehosef Samo" - Tehilim 81:6). Yehudah, who sanctified it in public by declaring "Tzadekah Mimeni," his name contained all the letters of Hashem's Name.
Da'as Zekenim and Hadar Zekenim: And it was through Kidushin, and not through Zenus.
Riva and Gur Aryeh: Why does Rashi add this? If not for a Bas Kol, Yehudah could not have been sure that she was pregnant from him. Perhaps she had been Mezanah also with others!
Because, due to the combination of her modest behavior in her father-in-law's house (refer to 38:15:2:2 and 38:15:2.2:1), and the prior decree that kings would descend from Yehudah, kings had to come out from both of them.
And, as Chazal have said (Nazir 23b) 'An Aveirah that is performed l'Shem Shamayim is greater than a Mitzvah than is performed not l'Shem Shamayim.'
Ramban and Rashbam: Whereas she adhered to his instructions of waiting for Shelah to grow up, he did not adhere to his promise to give her to him when he did.
And he knew this because, on the one hand, he had certainly been intimate with her, while on the other, we do not suspect something that we do not know.
How could Yehudah have been certain that Tamar was pregnant from him, and that she had not also been intimate with other men?
It was a Bas Kol from Heaven that declared this; refer to 38:26:1:2 and note.
Makos 23b: Because a. he counted the months and days of her pregnancy and found that they matched the time that they had been intimate, and b. because he knew that she had been intimate with him, but not that she had been intimate with anybody else, and we do not suspect something that we do not see. 1
See Torah Temimah, note33, wo elaborates.
What did Yehudah merit for admitting his role with Tamar, and why?
Maharal #1 (Chidushei Agados Vol. 2, p. 36, to Sotah 7b): Yehudah merited Olam ha'Ba. Admitting one's guilt in public is forcibly overcoming the Yetzer ha'Ra of this physical world, and therefore earns the world-to-come.
Maharal #2 (Chidushei Agados Vol. 2, p. 43, to Sotah 10b): Yehudah sanctified Hashem's Name, bringing it out in public; he merited that Hashem's Name be clearly spelled out in his own name. 1
Also refer to 29:35:151.1:1.
What does the Torah mean when it writes, "v'Lo Yasaf Od l'Da'tah"?
Rashi #1, Ramban #1, Rashbam, Targum Onkelos and Targum Yonasan: He did not continue 1 to have relations with Tamar. 2
Rashi #2 and Ramban #2: He did not cease having relations with her. 3
Ha'amek Davar: 'Yedi'ah' regarding Bi'ah is always with intent for the woman. Even though his first Bi'ah was for Zenus, since it was [like Yibum] to establish seed for the Mes, it acquired her even without intent. According to the opinion that Yaakov never had Bi'ah with Rachel in Eretz Yisrael (she was pregnant with Binyamin before he returned), also Yehudah did not have Bi'ah with his daughter-in-law again; only the first Bi'ah was permitted to establish seed for the Mes. 4 The one who said that since Yaakov married Rachel b'Heter [in Chutz la'Aretz], he was permitted even in Eretz Yisrael, like Yehudah was allowed to keep Tamar.
Rashbam: Otherwise, the Torah ought to have written, 'v'Lo Yasaf Od mi'le'Da'tah.'
Ramban: Even though she was Halachically permitted to him - See Ramban. Oznayim la'Torah - Seeing as she was his daughter-in-law and it was only through Hashem's intervention that he had caused her to become pregnant. See Oznayim la'Torah.
Rashi: As we find in connection with Eldad and Meidad - See Rashi to Bamidbar 11:25. These are actually two opinions in Sotah 10b.
If a Lav without Kares forbids the Yevamah to the Yavam, the Torah permits only one Bi'ah (Yevamos 20b). Ha'amek Davar implies that [before Matan Torah], the same applied to a daughter-in-law. (PF)
Now that Yehudah realized that she is pregnant from him, why was she exempt from punishment?
Moshav Zekenim, citing the Chasid: Shelah was physically similar to Yehudah. She thought that Yehudah would give his ring and Talis only to his son. (She intended for Yibum with Shelah. 1 )
Moshav Zekenim: In the days of Yehudah, there was no Isur for her to have Bi'ah with her father-in-law, only with a Nochri. 2
Refer to 38:24:3:6*.
He sentenced her for disgrace to himself (refer to 38:24:3:3). Now, he realized that she was more righteous than he (based on Ramban, Ha'amek Davar).
Da'as Zekenim: Before Matan Torah, any relative 3 could do Yibum (refer to 38:8:1:1* and 38:16:1.1:3), so Bi'ah with Yehudah was Yibum, so she acted properly.
She went to Pesach Einayim after they told her that her father-in-law is coming! This requires investigation (PF).
Hadar Zekenim: Shem's Beis Din forbade a Nochri to have Bi'ah with a Bas Yisrael. They did not forbid Zenus of Bnei Yisrael.
Da'as Zekenim: If there were no brothers, the closest relative would do Yibum. Since I (Yehudah) did not want my son to do Yibum, it was upon me to do Yibum. Hadar Zekenim calls this 'difficult.'
"Ki Al Ken Lo Nesati'hah l'Shelah Beni." Why does Yehudah say both "Ki" and "Al Kein"?
Ha'amek Davar: The custom, even before Matan Torah, was not to have Bi'ah with one's daughter-in-law. One could not know if Tamar intended for the Mitzvah to establish seed for the Mes, or for Zenus. It is astounding - why did I not give her to Shelah? It must be she intended to establish seed for the Mes, and therefore I did not give her to my son. Tamar prayed to have seed from me, and Hashem caused that I not give her to Shelah, for he is a Kena'anis' son; whereas I am more important, I am Leah's son.
QUESTIONS ON RASHI
Rashi writes: "'She was correct' ... in her words. 'From me' ... she is pregnant." Why doesn't Rashi translate as one phrase, 'She was [more] correct than I'?
Gur Aryeh: Yehudah had not actually done anything, to be able to imply that 'her deeds were more correct than my [deeds].' 1 He was not even aware at the time that she was Tamar!
It seems that Gur Aryeh means, that rather than doing an act, Yehudah failed to act, "for I did not give her to my son Shelah."
Rashi writes: "... Because she was modest in her father-in-law's home, I decreed that kings should descend from her." Why did she merit that particular reward?
Maharal (Chidushei Agados Vol. 2, p. 42, to Sotah 10b): Refer to 38:15:2.2:1.
Rashi writes: '"Lo Yasaf' - Some say, he did not anymore [live with Tamar]." But why not; she was permissible to him!
Gur Aryeh: Tamar made herself free to Yehudah, despite being his daughter-in-law, due to the Mitzvah of Yibum. According to this opinion, that would justify only the initial Bi'ah, but not subsequent Bi'os.
Rashi writes: "Some say, he did not cease [to live with Tamar]." But she was his daughter-in-law! We understand that the initial Bi'ah was permitted for the Mitzvah of Yibum, but to continue should have been forbidden!
Gur Aryeh: This opinion holds that once Yibum was permitted to them, normal marriage was then permitted as well. 1
In standard cases of Yibum, even after the Mitzvah has been fulfilled through the first Bi'ah, they continue a normal marriage -- despite that she is his sister-in-law. The two opinions Rashi cites differ as to whether or not this reasoning applies to this example of Yibum with a father-in-law, before Matan Torah. (EK)
