Who were the daughters who "arose to comfort" Yaakov?
Rashi #1 (citing Rebbi Yehudah): They were twins who were born with each of the tribes. 1
Rashi #2 (citing Rebbi Nechemyah): They were Kena'anite women, 2 who were married to the brothers, and it is natural to refer to daughters-in-law as daughters. 3
Ramban: They refer to his daughter (Dinah) and his granddaughter (Serach, the daughter of Asher). 4
Whom the brothers (from one of the other mothers), married - and it is permitted for a Ben No'ach to marry his paternal sister. Da'as Zekenim - The Avos kept the Torah (the additional Mitzvos of Yisrael) voluntarily - when they wanted, they did not.
Here the Ramban does not describe them as Kena'aniyos, though later, in Bereishis 38:2, he does (refer to 38:2:1:2). He goes on however, to explain that Kena'aniyos is not precise, and that what Rebbi Nechemyah means is women who lived in Kena'an, but who were from other nations, like he explains here. See how he goes on to explain the argument of Rebbi Yehudah and Rebbi Nechemyah.
As we find in Megilas Rus (1:11), where Naomi referred to her daughters-in-law as 'my daughters' (Ramban).
And, as the Midrash says, people tend to call their granddaughters, daughters (Ramban).
Why could Yaakov not be comforted - even after twelve months?
Rashi: Because Hashem's decree of forgetting is confined to a dead relative, not to one who is alive.
Seforno: He deliberately declined to accept comfort, in order not to alleviate his concern (over Yosef's fate).
Ohr ha'Chayim: Hashem gave Yaakov a Siman, that if none of his children die in his lifetime, he will not see Gehinom. Now, he was concerned lest he see Gehinom. This is why he could not infer from his inability to be consoled that Yosef was alive. 1
Malbim: They had a tradition that the proper structure of Klal Yisrael requires 12 Shevatim. 2 This is why he had a tradition that if none of his children die in his lifetime, he will not see Gehinom.
Refer to 37:35:2:1; also refer to 37:35:2.1.
But he could have another son in place of Yosef! Rashi (to 37:10) implies that at least one of his wives, i.e. Bilhah, was still alive [at the time of his dreams, shortly before this. - PF] [But according to Maharal and other commentaries, Yaakov ceased to be intimate with Bilhah subsequent to the incident of Reuven. Refer to 35:22:3.1:1; 35:22:6:4.] (CS)
What did Yaakov mean when he said that he would go down in mourning "She'olah" (to the grave)?
Rashi #1, Rashbam and Targum Yonasan: He meant that he would never accept consolation over Yosef as long as he lived.
Rashi #2: He was referring, not to the grave, but to Gehinom, due to a tradition that he had that if none of his children died in his lifetime, he would not descend to Gehinom. 1 But now that Yosef was dead, this assurance no longer applied.
Seforno: He undertook to mourn for Yosef as long as he lived, because he considered himself at fault for sending him to his brothers. Refer to 37:34:2:1*.
Hadar Zekenim #1: Heretics learn from here that also Tzadikim (e.g. Yosef) descend to Gehinom. They err. Yaakov meant "I will go to Gehinom due to my son;" I sinned through sending him to a dangerous place (refer to 37:34:2:1*).
Hadar Zekenim #2: She'olah does not mean Gehinom, but rather, death. 2 I will mourn my son until I die. 3
Refer to 37:35:2:3.
Moshav Zekenim: We learn from "v'Nivrechu Becha Kol Mishpechos ha'Adamah uv'Zar'echa" (28:14) - also your children will be blessed (i.e. and not die in your lifetime). "... Ki Lo E'ezavcha" (28:15) - One who descends to Gehinom is called Azuv (abandoned). He was also worried lest he be "Ne'ezav, v'Zar'o Mevakesh Lachem" (Tehilim 37:25).
Hadar Zekenim: Iyov said "Mi Yiten bi'Sheol Tatzpineni" (Iyov 14:13). He did not desire Gehinom, rather, death.
Ha'amek Davar: Also David said [about the baby who died] "Ani Holech Elav" (Shmuel II 12:23) - I will die in the end, like him.
Why does the Torah see fit to tell us that "his father wept over him"?
Rashbam #1, Hadar Zekenim #1: It means that he continued to weep for a long time. Ha'amek Davar - It did not write this above, but rather here, to teach that he cried over him as long as he mourned.
Rashi, Rashbam #2, Hadar Zekenim #2, Riva, Seforno and Targum Yonasan: It was Yaakov's father Yitzchak, 1 who wept over Yaakov's pain. 2
Ohr ha'Chayim: When Yaakov mentioned Yosef's words, he cried.
Riva: If it referred to Yaakov, it would not need to say "his father," for it was discussing him! Also, it already said that he mourned him, which always follows crying - See Moed Katan 27b.
Yitzchak did not mourn however, since he knew that Yosef was alive. Seforno - Yitzchak wept because, since Yaakov undertook to mourn all his life, the Shechinah (which only rests where there is Simchah) would never again rest on him.
The Torah does not say how Yaakov's children tried to console him. What did they do?
Ohr ha'Chayim: Yaakov was pained like one who lost an only child. His 11 sons, 11 daughters, 1 and many grandchildren gathered to console him - one who has so many children should not be pained so much over the loss of one of them. This is why it says "Kol Banav v'Chol Benosav." This did not help, for he loved Yosef more than all of them together; the Zohar explains why.
Why were there only 11? According to the opinion that a twin was born with each Shevet, there were 13 (with Dinah - PF)! According to Gur Aryeh (to 35:17), no twin sister was born with Yosef; two triplet sisters were born with Binyamin instead (see 35:17:2.1:1 and the note there). But they were only 9 years old; hence only 11 adult daughters comforted Yaakov. (CS)
QUESTIONS ON RASHI
Rashi writes: "All of his daughters' - Rebbi Yehudah says, twin sisters were born with each of the Shevatim, whom they [later] married." Why was this necessary? The Shevatim could have married other girls from Avraham's family?
Gur Aryeh (to 38:2) #1: Yisrael was now being established as a nation, as the Shevatim married and had children. Those wives had to be from Zera Yaakov, without connection to any other nation.
Gur Aryeh (to 38:2) #2: Yaakov fathered the complete set of twelve tribes (unlike Avraham and Yitzchak who had fathered one righteous child each). Yaakov was also father of their mates, such that nothing was lacking. 1
Gur Aryeh: Whereas Rebbi Nechemyah says that the twelve male sons are called the Shevatim, complete in their own right. Refer to 37:35:1.2:1.
Rashi writes: " ... Rebbi Nechemyah says, they were Canaanite women...." (Also see Rashi to 50:13.) How could Yaakov's sons have violated Avraham's command against marrying Canaanite women?
Gur Aryeh (to 38:2): Avraham and Yitzchak were prior to our establishment as a nation. Now that the twelve tribes were born, they were considered a nation, such that any woman that would now marry in would be subsumed into the nation of Yisrael. 1
Gur Aryeh: ... provided that they did Teshuvah (i.e. abandoned their idolatry); see Sotah 35b. Rebbi Yehudah disagrees - Yisrael was not yet a nation of twelve males, without females to join them (refer to 37:35:1.1:1).
Rashi writes: "'He refused to be consoled' - ... Only regarding the deceased is there a [Divine] decree to forget, but not regarding one who is still alive." But this itself should have made Yaakov realize that Yosef was still alive!
Gur Aryeh #1: Hashem decreed that every deceased person be forgotten - but not at a set time; for some people it takes longer, and for some shorter. Yaakov attributed the fact that he was not yet forgetting Yosef to his Yetzer 1 overcoming him. 2
Gur Aryeh #2: Yaakov attributed it to the fact that he was still in search of Yosef's body, to bring it to burial; in which case he remained an Onen, and the Aveilus mourning period had not even begun.
Gur Aryeh #3: Yaakov attributed it to the fear that since Yosef died, he would experience Gehinom (see Rashi); over this he would not be consoled. 3
Rashi writes: "'[I shall descend] in mourning, to She'ol' - ... to Gehinom. Hashem gave me a sign that [only] if none of my sons dies in my lifetime, am I assured of not seeing Gehinom." Why is this so?
Gur Aryeh: Conceptually, the twelve sons of Yaakov correspond to the twelve months of the year, and would thus exempt him from the twelve-month punishment of Gehinom (see Shabbos 33b).
Rashi writes: "And his father cried for him - i.e. Yitzchak cried over Yaakov's pain." But perhaps it means that Yaakov cried over Yosef?
Gur Aryeh: One does not first mourn and only then cry; and the preceding Pasuk (37:34) already told us that Yaakov mourned. Rather it was Yitzchak who cried with Yaakov. 1
Compare to Riva (37:35:4:2*).
Rashi writes: "... But [Yitzchak] did not mourn, for he knew Yosef was alive." How does the verse show us this?
Gur Aryeh: The verse use the term "va'Yevk Oso Aviv," meaning "with him." This means that Yitzchak cried only when in Yaakov's presence, to share in his pain; but when not in his presence he did not cry, for he knew that Yosef was still alive.
Rashi writes: "... But [Yitzchak] ... knew that Yosef was alive." How did Yitzchak know this? The brothers had made a ban against revealing it!
Gur Aryeh: Yitzchak was aware of this through Ru'ach ha'Kodesh. The ban was only lest it become known to Yaakov.
Rashi writes: "... But [Yitzchak]... knew that Yosef was alive." If so, why didn't he tell Yaakov?
Gur Aryeh: Yitzchak realized that he had been made aware, while Yaakov had not; and he understood that Hashem did not wish to reveal it to Yaakov.
