Why did Yosef say, "Now, it was not you that sent me"?
Ohr ha'Chayim: He wanted to remove from their hearts concern lest Yosef hates them for their cruelty to him. It seemed unlikely that his heart would be complete with them. Indeed, at the time of the sale, it was strange in his eyes that brothers could be so cruel, and it is proper to hate them. However, now we see that it was from Hashem. They did His Shelichus, and not their own. There is no reason to bear a grudge and distance brotherhood from them. Similarly, they could stand in front of their father [without shame, since it was from Hashem] even after he found out how Yosef came to Egypt, and the bloody robe. Surely Yaakov investigated and found out! Yaakov should have descended [to exile] in chains (but Hashem arranged that he descend honorably - Bereishis Rabah 86:2).
Malbim: Do not regret the sale itself. (a) Do not regret the Aveirah - Hashem sold me via you. He removed your choice, and forced you! (b) Do not regret that you were a staff for evil. It was a benefit - I became a father to Pharaoh! If one accidentally pushed someone into water, and he was saved, and he found a gem there, the former should not regret the act, which was Shogeg, nor the result, which was good!
Ha'amek Davar: This is not appeasement. He already appeased them! Rather, he begins to say why they and their father should come to Egypt, so he can feed them. Yosef and his brothers did not understand that this is the beginning of the exile decreed on Avraham, until Hashem told Yaakov "I will descend [with you]..." (46:4). Do not say that since he came to Egypt via them, he should send to them [in Eretz Kena'an] their needs. You did not send me - Hashem did! Even had you sent me here with intent to aggrandize me, I could not have reached this level [if not that Hashem wanted].
Why does it say "l'Av l'Pharaoh, ul'Adon l'Chol Beiso, u'Moshel b'Chol Eretz Mitzrayim"?
Malbim: These are three stages that Pharaoh raised Yosef, one after the other. Initially, I was a counselor, when I interpreted the dream. Later, "Atah Tihyeh Al Beisi" (41:40), and in the end, a ruler over all of Egypt. 1
Ha'amek Davar: "Adon" here does not mean master. Rather, Pharaoh's house is submissive to my opinion, as above.
See 41:40:151:1; and 41:41:1:2.
QUESTIONS ON RASHI
Rashi writes: "He has made me as a father unto Pharaoh - [I.e.] a friend and 'a patron.'" How does this comment explain the use of the term "father"?
Gur Aryeh: I am a friend unto Pharaoh; he therefore acts as per my instructions [as friends do]. In this manner, I am his guide, just as a father guides a child. 1
Gur Aryeh: Rashi does not use the term "friend" alone, as that would imply that Pharaoh and Yosef were equals; nor does he use the term "patron" alone, which would imply that Yosef ruled over Pharaoh, when the opposite was the case.
